And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
