Pappa wants mamma naked
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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