if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
