Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
