the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
