I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
