Just cropdusted the office
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
