Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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