and my herpes radar will keep us safe
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
