Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
