grandma shit on top of the toilet
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Randomize
