We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
