just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
