The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
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