its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
