I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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