It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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