I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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