1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
