Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
