CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
