Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well

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(251): View more from Alabama

Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.

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(404): View more from Georgia

and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.

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(415): View more from California

just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.

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(631): View more from New York

He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.

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(706): View more from Georgia

thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.

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(561): View more from Florida

He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.

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