My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
