Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize