My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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