I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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