Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
