Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
