My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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