Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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