Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
id be glad to
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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