i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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