Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
