shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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