she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's official drugs can't kill me
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize