i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
