pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
