She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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