she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
