yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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