I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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