dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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