she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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