Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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