Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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