i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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