hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
