Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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