Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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