What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize