Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
nutella sex= disaster
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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