im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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