Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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