Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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