ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Bring me that man meat
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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