Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
