I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
