these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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