i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
