you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize