My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
