David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i drank out of a bidet.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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