They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
