She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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