no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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