The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
