There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
