hell yes lets make some ravioli
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
