god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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