alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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