Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
