I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
