Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
