My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
