Non-Jews are for practice
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Randomize