You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
NoShamevember. You game?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
