genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
