Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
