I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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