Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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