4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I can't turn off my feet"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
