No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
